Archive for the Nothing Really Category

The Loneliness of a One-Player Game

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , on 3 September, 2009 by Ally
The Loneliness of a One-Player Game

The Loneliness of a One-Player Game

I appear to have accidentally encapsulated the human condition by naming a photograph of a games console.

Stumbling Down Memory Lane

Posted in Film, Nothing Really with tags , , , , on 9 February, 2009 by Ally

I discovered Monty Python as a young teen, as young teens have been doing ever since the Flying Circus was first smuggled onto the midnight airwaves. So many of their quotes are indelibly branded into my very psyche, thanks to repeating viewing during my so-called formative years. It is so much a part of my childhood that I eventually distanced myself from it, putting away childish things to become a fully-fledged (or at least partially-fledged) man. But today I stumbled upon a highly-defined time machine, when a blu-ray copy of Life of Brian arrived from my DVD rental service.

I recalled the dialogue vividly, but the actual meaning of the film had disappeared in the foggy recesses. It is strange territory to revisit such stuff after so long and see what my 11-year-old self was too young to understand or appreciate. Or perhaps I was just too giddied by the exuberant surrealism and anarchy to detect the prominent religious and social satire running through the narrative. The absurdity of it always appealed to me, but the significance of said absurdity had completely eluded my younger self. Silly person.

The pleasant surprise was that it still made me laugh. And much like the Simpsons, what makes me laugh now differs from what made me laugh back then — although, thanks to its constant presence on the television schedules, the Simpsons never dropped off my radar in the same way Python did. This made watching Python an interesting (if somewhat narcissistic) yardstick by which to measure my own personal growth.

And I have come to the conclusion that I have not grown. I have merely changed shape.


Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , on 18 January, 2009 by Ally

Three signs of terminal nerdiness:

1. Collecting Futurama action figures
2. Taking photographs of Futurama action figures
3. Sharing photographs of Futurama action figures on a blog

Waves 4 and 5 of Toynami's Futurama range

Waves 4 and 5 of Toynami's Futurama range

Captain Yesterday

Captain Yesterday does the hustle

Super King (aka El Zilcho)

Super King (aka El Zilcho)


Nudar's cameo in Reservoir Dogs

Calculon is either taking a myspace photo or remaking Blair Witch...

Calculon is either taking a myspace photo or remaking Blair Witch...

Top Five Things in the Wrong Place at Zavvi

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , on 5 January, 2009 by Ally

Today I decided to take ruthless advantage of Zavvi’s recessional demise by doing some heavily discounted New Year shopping. Since the staff are unable to muster any enthusiasm for the organisation of their stock, there were a few glaring anomalies on the shelves of this doomed emporium.

5. Xavier Rudd filed under X
In Zavvi as in most self-respecting record shops, solo artists are listed in alphabetical order by surname. R for Rudd, not X for Xavier.

4. Asobi Seksu filed under S
Asobi Seksu is not the name of a person, but the name of a band. Translated from Japanese it means “playful sex”, but that’s neither here nor there.

3. Reservoir Dogs special edition DVD in the blu-ray section
This is perhaps the most galling error, as I didn’t notice until I got the film home that it wasn’t in glorious high definition. Thankfully I did notice before removing the cellophane, and I am able to exchange it if there are any of the fuckers left in stock by tomorrow.

2. Kenny G filed under “jazz”
Kenny G should in fact be filed under “bullshit” if they insist on stocking his discs at all.

1. Ella Fitzgerald section features Primal Scream album
I could be wrong, but I don’t remember that particular collaboration. That said, it could make for interesting results…

Inanimate Objects 3: A Sequel Too Far

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , , on 31 October, 2008 by Ally

In a fit of abject boredom, I was moved to take some more photographs. Since I barely ever go anywhere, they are all once again confined to household objects and pets. And thanks to inadequate lighting, many of them appear to be the digital equivalent of “grainy” (which is sadly far less pleasant than film grain). Ah well, there are a few colour ones this time.

Looking Through the Glass

It Must Be Winter

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Inanimate Objects II: This Time It’s Impersonal

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , on 24 October, 2008 by Ally

The light was playing most pleasantly through the windows this evening, so I was inspired to take some more photographs. Click the thumbnails for big versions on Photobucket. For instance:

Special Branch

Noir Door

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Try This, Kids at Home!

Posted in Film, Film Noir, Nothing Really with tags , , , , , , , , , on 20 October, 2008 by Ally

I’m sure we all remember, or at least know of the controversy surrounding colorization. You know, when Orson Welles told Ted Turner to keep his crayons away from Citizen Kane, and film critics dedicated entire shows to preaching about the evils of colorization. As well as it being completely at odds with the artistic vision of the filmmakers, colorization’s biggest crime is somehow managing to look simultaneously garish and washed-out. Especially when it’s done wrong, giving Frank Sinatra brown eyes for example.

In short, it’s shit.

But have you ever considered viewing a colour film in black and white? I believe it was Billy Wilder that claimed black and white photography was best suited to performance-based films, as there are no colours to distract you from the acting. All you need to do is turn the colour down on your television and you have an instant decolorized film.

It’s a mere novelty, but sometimes it can allow you to appreciate certain aspects of a film that were previously hidden to you behind dazzling colours and effects. I tried it last night whilst watching The Big Lebowski, and you know what? It’s actually quite fun. The noir flourishes are more apparent in black and white, highlighting the Chandleresque plot rather nicely. I’m sure the Coen Brothers would be mortified to learn that their film was being viewed improperly, but fuck them. It’s my telly.

Video of the Day: Peter Serafinowicz

Posted in Nothing Really, Of the Day with tags , , , , , on 15 October, 2008 by Ally

I stumbled upon this most entertaining video by Peter Serafinowicz. You may remember him from his (frankly more miss than hit) sketch show on BBC2 last year. Or you may remember him more fondly from Look Around You, that wonderful parody of 1970s educational programmes which are still boring schoolchildren today. He can also be seen in Spaced, Shaun of the Dead, and indeed most decent British comedy series of recent times. He’s a veritable Kevin Eldon, so’s he is.

Anyway, this is one of those irritating “50 Impressions in 2 Minutes” deals, with the delightful twist that all of his impressions are of imaginary celebrities. Non-existent catchphrases include “this isn’t goodbye; it’s greatbye” and “I’m gonna commit you-icide!” Admittedly some of it is decidedly puerile but Serafinowicz’s brand of parallel universe comedy, where his bizarre imaginings are passed off as common knowledge, never fails to amuse me. Well, I suppose a lot of it did fail to amuse me in his sketch show, but we’ll just forget about that and remember Look Around You.

Thanks, Peter. Theter.

Photographs of Inanimate Objects

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , on 12 October, 2008 by Ally

I had a bit of a play with the family camera today, because I was that bored. After using Photoshop to make the pictures look slightly nicer, there were a few that came out pretty well I think. The first is clearly the best, but never mind eh?

The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

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Unnecessary Sequels

Posted in Nothing Really with tags , , , , , , on 1 October, 2008 by Ally

It was recently announced that Artemis Fowl author Eoin Colfer is writing a sixth book in Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series, entitled And Another Thing… Also, my friend Den just linked me to an article regarding a potential sequel to Blade Runner. The rumours on that one have thankfully been debunked, but it got me thinking about other potential unwelcome sequels:

Citizen Kane II: Raising Kane
After being raised from the dead by a Voodoo priest, Charles Foster Kane goes on a murderous rampage in a desperate attempt to find Rosebud. He still won’t tell anyone what exactly Rosebud is though.

To Kill Another Mockingbird
Scout, who has grown up to be a lawyer, defends a man accused of killing a mockingbird.

Kiss Me Deadly II: Hammer and Tongs
Hardboiled private eye Mike Hammer undergoes extensive surgery to remove a pair of barbecue tongs from his digestive system.

Duck Soup: A Second Helping
Freedonia is under strain from the “Credit Crunch”, after Harpo spreads the economy on a cracker and eats it. There’s only one thing to do; 75% of the population must be culled. Will Zeppo be first against the wall?

On another note, the new Ben Folds album is deeply disappointing.