It’s Something To Do, Isn’t It?

I’ve been feeling musically uninspired recently, so I’ve decided to take up a new hobby. I downloaded a demo version of Final Draft, so I’m currently learning how to a) use it, and b) write a script. All on me lonesome. I’m using the Douglas Adams method of starting at the beginning and writing backwards. That is, writing a bit and then fine-tuning that bit until I’ve got less than I started with. I can only write fifteen pages until I have to upgrade to the full version anyway.

I’m indulging myself with an old-fashioned film noir parody, full of vaguely-defined grotesques and screwballs. I like the opening, with the police investigating the murder of glamorous dancer Miquita Mouse. (How terrible is that pun?!) Then they call in the incompetent Private Eye (how original) when they find his business card on her; “Criminals collared / Jewellery returned / Shoes shined.” I don’t know whether to write a deliberately incomprehensible story, or actually plan something out that works. I guess I don’t know how to plan something properly, so a headfuck noir it is!

I need a better name for my PI character though. I was looking at my walls, at the Eric Dolphy album and Orson Welles picture. So Eric Welles will have to do for now. It’s better than Orson Dolphy at any rate! I had been thinking some kind of tool for his surname, like Sam Spade or Mike Hammer… But Johnny Trowel just sounds shit.

2 Responses to “It’s Something To Do, Isn’t It?”

  1. Hey, incomprehensible noir worked for “The Big Sleep”…

  2. But of course. So I just need to construct every sentence impeccably and get the perfect cast, and we’re sorted…

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